The Copy Shop

So I was asked by an online news agency this question: What is the connection between being philosophical and being a fiction writer. In response I told them a story. It is about a guy - a nerdy academic type - who is bored and stops in a copy shop everyday on the path back from teaching. It is on the South side of campus and he likes to watch the young girls go in and out haphazardly pretending to print and edit papers. This guy grades papers like that, so he knows how bad they are.

One day he is copying a map from a weird online fantasy game that he was into and he saw an older girl crying by a trash bin. by old I mean like twenty-five. The guy teaches freshman and he is early forties, and to him, I suppose, 23 looks old around that campus.

Awkwardly he walks over. "What's wrong?"

"What's wrong? Seriously. That's your line?"

"I'm a teacher."

"So?"

"I'm just saying. Why would a teacher have a line. I can show you my faculty ID."

"This! that is what's wrong. This trash. Everyday I come in for the Econ daily assignment and they print it out and I come over here and at the top of the trash bin is this crap. At first, I don't know, bro, I had no idea. Who knows what this garbage is. I am waiting on a print-out, some shit about capitalism or whatever, and I pick it up. Just look at it. The over-copied paragraphs, the cute little hand-written notes on the side. Who isn't gonna pick it up. So I read it. And what the fuck man. Come on bro. What is this fucking guy doing. This guy. He has the whole world in his hands and he's old, like thirty-five, like money old. And yet he has no fucking clue."

"What in god's name are you talking about?"

"Nothing. The story, bro." Then she leaves.

So of course the guy picks up a few of the pieces of paper in the trash and takes them home. Little did he know it would change his life. And I don't mean make you think differently. That's not what happens. This story, bro. It tells you everything you need to know about art and philosophy, about living and not living, about human nature. Holy fuck.

That's the guy talking, not me.

Anyway, I tell the people the story and I send them some of the scraps that I got from the guy that he got from the girl I suppose. And now they are making it into a movie. Imagine that. A fucking movie. That means its gonna lose all meaning. But I thought I would tell you about it. The greatest story of all time.